I'd like to start off the new year with an upbeat story.

This is one of my favorite stories that I often share when I go out to speak.  I find others love it as much as I do.  I believe this story helps to depict our children with autism in a very positive light. These are the type of stories that help to show the world some of the special traits our children with autism have.    

Several years ago my son, Brandon was working in a retail store.  One day as he was working he saw something crumpled up on the ground and he went over to pick it up.  He began to unravel it and saw it was a hundred dollar bill.

Without hesitation, he quickly marched into his manger’s office. He said, "I found a hundred dollar bill and someone lost it.”

Later that day one of his co-workers said, “Brandon, I saw your manager put the hundred dollar bill in his wallet. Brandon said, “I don’t care, I did the right thing.” 

I love Brandon’s honesty and that he does what he feels is right. He continues to be my finest teacher.

What would you have done if you found that $100 bill?

This is how independence began for my son, Brandon almost fourteen years ago.

I found Brandon a small bachelor apartment in a safe neighborhood.  At first, we rode the busses together for several weeks until he could find his way.  We walked around his new neighborhood until he felt comfortable enough to do it on his own.  He had a job coach at his new job to help him with any difficulties he might face. 

I am extremely happy for my son’s success, but I wish more adults with autism could reach their maximum independence.  When I go out to speak I find that most parents are stuck in fear. Most of them are unable to allow their children to advance to the next level, because it scares them to death. I understand, as it was extremely difficult for me to let my son go and grow, but I had to let him try. 

Brandon’s life is certainly far from perfect and he has many hurdles to get over each and everyday, but he does get over them.  He likes living alone, because when he lived with other people he was treated very badly. 

Once Brandon’s seizures are under control he will return to work.  In the meantime, he has created his own job, which is helping people who sell items from their carts on the mall.  He assists them by watching their carts when they take breaks and he gets them food when needed.  He likes doing it.

Although his life is very different than I ever expected I accept my son for who he is and my rules for him are simple.  If he is not hurting anyone, and he is not getting hurt, or he is not ill, I stay out of his personal business. He is thirty-eight years old and we talk over the phone often almost every day and when he needs me he reaches out. I see him every other week. We get his chores done that he cannot do on foot and we have a meal together.  It is beautiful to watch my son continue to grow and develop.

I do what I can to help Brandon, but I am also very careful to not step on his toes.  It is like a dance.  I have learned when to step in and when to step out.  This way, it encourages him to grow and do things for himself.  I have found that having firsthand experience is one of the best ways to learn.

I have a new non-profit called, Autism Independence Project.  I am in the fund-raising stage to film a documentary about Brandon showing how he has made his life work for him.  I feel it is extremely important that parents see an adult who has many limitations and is still able to make it out in the “real world”.  I believe it will give them the courage they need to allow their child to go and grow.  To learn more about the project giving an insightful peek inside Brandon’s life and the Secret World documentary, visit http://www.autismindependenceproject.org.

The unwritten oath of a mother is to protect her child and after thirty-nine years, I still cannot do that in the seizure department. That is a hard pill for me to swallow.  As I write this, I am searching for a new neurologist. 

Did you know that 25% of children who have autism also have epilepsy, and 25% of people who have epilepsy are unable to control their seizures with medication?

My son, Brandon has had seizures since he was nine years old.  Today, he is thirty-eight and he still continues to experience them.  He has been on numerous medications and we are running out of options.  Two months ago, he was put on a fairly new medication for adults who have generalized epilepsy.  His neurologist said he has had great results with this newer drug called “Vimpat.”  Unfortunately, Brandon is still experiencing seizures and having more than usual.  Brandon feels both disappointed and depressed. 

The other day he called to tell me he had another seizure and was taken to the hospital again for the third time in a week.  He said, “I hate my life, I hate my life, why me?”  After almost thirty years of trying to stop his seizures I could understand how he felt.  Thank God the next day he woke up feeling better and was ready to start anew.  He never carries his old baggage from one day into the next.

He continues to be my finest teacher.